Life in Totality

I was pondering the preciousness of the moment as it was, the simple abundant moment of now. There is nothing I can do to change the past. The future cannot be held. All I have is this one moment. To meet it fully alive and aware. Looking up, there she was. The grace of the moon mid afternoon beautifully haunting against the blue sky. The illumination of dark sharing the illumination of day. With a smile and chuckle, what better image of meeting life in its totality, this moment, now.

Setting Day

Setting days. That's what my grandmother called them. Can't say you've done much and yet the day was full. Like noticing how the shadow of a tree resting upon the side of a house bends as it lays down on the roof. Or watching a raven call out to others that the seed has been served. Is it the same raven each day? A different raven? I cannot tell them apart. Would that I were gifted to notice this raven as distinct from others. I cannot and yet he or she is. I need to practice. Maybe that's what setting days are all about. Noticing what you can and noticing what you can't. But setting equals noticing. I guess that, in the end, is what makes the day full. Yes grandma, it is sweet.

Dribbling Now

An image shared the other day returned with such delight and a twist. And if I say I love hot dogs and later say I love you....Would you see yourself squeezed between two buns and smothered in ketchup, mustard and relish? Or would you see the abandon and playfulness I experience eating a hot dog, and the joy of dribbling mustard and ketchup as I forego convention and immerse in the delight of the experience, this moment fully lived and alive with you?

As Is

The dance of the drought hardened earth's dust and wind shrouding the mountain, in so many ways, took my breath. The invisible made visible. The visible almost invisible. And as my fingers touched the dust resting upon my face, I had to giggle and wonder in awe, "Where my friends have you come from? How many miles and years have you traveled, now to kiss my cheek?" The wonder of the present moment, without story or judgement, simple awe.

Goggle'd Mind

The morning meditation burst into laughter. I realized my mind had gone Google on me and was returning 10,000+ thoughts and memories in 3.7 seconds. In my laughter I heard a sound. With a smile I shut the mind's browser down and listened to the birds.

True Voice

In joy and pain I have sat with others, and myself, and wondered what could I possibly say? Words seem so bulky. Then in the silence to know only the gift of 'thank you' to the little heart that feels and in truth, tis the only voice I need.

Not Absent

So many hues, shapes, textures, and designs. Mountain clouds and runways for cloud planes to takeoff. The earthbound mountains like a stadium filled to watch the spectacle unfold.

Oh if you could but have been there to see and feel the morn and hear the gentle music playing as the sky danced. And then a sweet smile of knowing....close your eyes and breathe softly. You were. You are.

Nurture embedded

The image of the tree is embedded in the leaf. What was to be became and now is. The image true to its source yet the leaf is unlike the tree. The leaf is unlike all other leaves. With winter's rhythm both leaf and embedded source will return to nurture what is to be, what has become, and what will be.

May all see the image of Life and Love embedded in my presence and uniquely expressed. And may each breath, word, thought, and deed be as giving as the tree held within the leaf.

Passing Through

I am a snob! Oh the realization was horrific and my little heart sunk. I who treasure my tender open little heart stood face to face with the realization. It was not kind.

The morning shower was too hot. A brisk recognition and then I simply turned the knob. My shirt was turned wrong side out. I giggled to notice and turned it right side out. My little dog had run off with my socks. I laughed to play tag and saw her eyes sparkle with joy.  I came into the den and thought it dark. The power was out. My longed for coffee had not brewed nor was the internet available. I muttered and harumpf’d to think this the start of my day. The power returned with an email that sucked the remaining non-harumpf’d breath out. That was when I realized I am a snob.

I had placed life’s challenges in a hierarchy – worthy and unworthy of mindfulness, worthy and unworthy of my open precious little heart. Was not each one worthy of my heart’s greeting? Was not each challenge worthy of my attention and desire to learn? Does not each one create trust and openness for all challenges to come? I pondered my cringe when I see others negate the worth of other people. Do not the challenges, lessons, and speed bumps of life deserve to be welcomed with equanimity and grace? For if I cannot embrace and welcome them, could my heart truly open and embrace the lives of others who in truth, are but lessons of the same? Are not both just passing through?

Karios Magic

The plane was packed on Christmas Eve. The line of passengers and luggage stuffed in the overheads made me think of clowns in a circus stuffing themselves into a tiny car. A young woman paused to let her child sit between she and I. I smiled but no recognition was returned. Their coats were too thin for the winter. Her very presence, coughing, watery eyes and flushed face painted the image of a mother not feeling well. She all but collapsed in her seat. The little one's excitement was quickly met with a stern "Be quite!" I stared out the window as the plane rolled across the runway and then to see the earth get smaller and smaller.

Glancing at the mother I saw she had fallen asleep. The little one clutched her toy, eyes fixed forward and tears rolling down her cheek. I nudged her with my elbow and smiled. Hesitant she just stared. For the next hour we played silently with her doll and magical creatures we created with my gloves. The coffee stirrer became a magic wand. A napkin became a cape and her doll learned to fly. Only a few soft whispers were exchanged. As the plane landed the little one's eyes looked up with such wonder and awe I almost cried. The mother took her hand and wearily said "Let's go." I gathered one of her bags to hand to her and in her hand I pressed all the Christmas cash I had brought me. With a wink to the little one, I waved the magic stirrer. To this day I still hear her giggle. There a moments now, over 4 decades later, that when I open my wallet I still see her eyes.

We can think of time as chronos - linear, always rushing forward ticking away seconds we cannot get back. Or, we can think of time as karios - the pregnancy of the moment filled with opportunity, possibility, love, and being. The picture attached looks like a magical forest. Or, you could see the truck that passed by stirring dust upon my body and in my eyes. Our journeys require different eyes and different ways of measuring time. The forest IS magical. A 60 minute plane ride has spanned 4 decades. A plastic stirrer still makes my heart laugh with magic. Today, may you hear only the ticking of karios and know the magic of time filled with presence, love, an open heart, and possibility. The magic of karios.

Opening Christmas #6: Re-Gifting Magic

On this day 6 of opening Christmas I think of the gifts called white elephants. Giggle, though I do not know why the name. They are often considered gifts to re-gift- especially those gifts of reciprocating guilt for an unexpected gift received.

But what if, instead, we saw the sacred magic of an actual white elephant! What if we chose re-gifting as the perfect gift. The re-gifting of a friend's presence when we were stricken with sorrow. The friend who worried not about perfect words, their presence spoke healing. The re-gifting of a smile or the stranger who helped us pick up packages dropped. The re-gifting of an actual conversation face to face absent texts, emails, and cell phone chatter. What if we chose the re-gifting of all those moments others gifted that healed and perhaps even saved. Oh that we could see such amazing white elephants trumpeting and heralding the season that is.

Opening Christmas # 2- Tracking Gifts

On this second day of opening Christmas I stepped out to feed the birds and giggled with delight. They left a gift of softness and dance.

We track the to do's and to gets of Christmas. We know the gifts we need to give. To be these days mindful that wherever we walk or drive we are leaving tracks of gifts. All touched by our presence, energy, voice, eyes, and expressions are gifted with our being. These gifts do not wait for one day to open. They are opened immediately when touched by our being. Oh to be mindful of the gifts I give to all strangers these days.Oh to be mindful of those I gift myself.

Making an Entrance

With every doorway I pass through and every thought I enter the sacred. With every breath the newborn cry of life emerging anew. Simple, simple touches. As Rumi said, "Don't go back to sleep."

Throne of Now

I confess, it did beckon me to come and sit. To do so would have disturbed the image. I took my seat and sat both where I was and upon its warm seat gathered in the sunlight. Much like all experiences, sorrowful or glad, we don't have to dig them out, nor do we have to pass by unaware. Simply to be present, this moment, now. Ahhhhh no king or queen has known a greater throne.

Audacious Reverie

I am the wounded animal sound of the howling winds. I am the silence of sheltered walls. I am the window's view shrouded in a white out. I am the presence of the sun's crystal illumination. I am the candle's thin dance of smoke. I am the wax, wick, and flame melted as one. I am the prayer of love, joy, and freedom for all. This day for all life the stillness of a feather surrounded by storms.

Gifted Softness

No greater tip could be left for one who carried out the banquet for nature's small ones to eat. A soft reminder the feather is on the ground but the winged bird is still in flight. A gentle touch from nature to nature, a small blanket offering warmth to the snow and earth. May my touch upon the earth be so simple, be so gentle.

Eyeing Fog's Embrace

And what is it you are struggling to see Little One? Your eyes see only the cloud of fog. Your eyes also don't see the mountain that holds, supports, and lifts the tree above the earth and into the clouds. See with your heart Little One. And giggle to watch the clouds descend to caress the earth. Feel their touch upon your face. Alive in this one moment and the touch of the heavens surrounding you...that is what your heart sees.

Life's Weather Report

The mind racing as I sat in meditation. From this and that to that and this. I heard my mind, ever so harsh and strong, declare “thinking.” My heart replied “There is no judgment, just a reminder of how you can go about your day, unmindful, scattered about, doing this and that, everywhere but here in this moment. Begin again little one.” And oh the sweet smile I felt upon my face. Just this breath present and aware. So it was…. So it wasn’t. Another delicious and sweet smile welcoming the next breath, releasing to begin again.  Afterwards I checked the weather – “Passing shower.” Sweet mercy, Life does have a sense of humor! My laughter vibrated the pictures on the walls.  A day to savor sweet and delicious smiles.

Soft Chair

She sat with her heart wondering what had happened to all who touched her life. Touches of both ill and grace. And then the laughed to look up and see. There were no holes in her heart. Only the gentle cupping where Love had sat.

Secret No More

Have you ever seen a child trying to keep the secret of a gift? How their body trembles, their eyes are huge, and it seems they would explode if they do not tell? Oh may I be a child today. The earth, clerks, drivers passing by, those in my heart known and unknown, the receivers of the secret gift I hold. My body and eyes exploding, unable to keep it secret any longer - all are loved! all are loved!!!