Choosing my skin

Sitting outside, the morning sun stretching and expanding her light, her heat folded around my body and I began to sweat. Too early for this much heat, should not be this hot in the morning. My immediate thought was that this did not bode well for the rest of the day in an unairconditioned house with only one window to open. The heat continued to wrap my body, gently, but heated. Finally, with a giggle, I realized, unlike other mornings, I had a black tank top on instead of the white or gray. It is the nature of black to absorb the light and heat. When worn, it gathers the heat and holds it against us. It is simply the nature of black, no omen, nothing suggesting that the day would be this or that. Just the law of physics, of the universe that says this color will hold the heat. That simple.


The choice I made, the cloth skin I put on was creating discomfort. In the winter such a choice would have offered warmth against the cold.  But today, I needed a different skin but did not exercise my own law of energy or universe that said, I have a choice, but choice means I must pay attention. I sat in gratitude for the warmth and sweat, appreciating the gift of order and naturalness. I then changed my tank top and sat again where I was. Felt the warmth of the morning sun but not the heat and thanked the sweet Hands of Life, that today, each moment, it is I who choose my skin.  The rest, the outcome, is but a reflection of my choice.

Did not see

I studied the birds and the squirrels. I had watched where they hopped and scampered. I walked the area of their feeding and knew well where the seed fell.  I was certain I was safe spraying the weed killer in those patches where they were breaking the cement.  My arms not strong enough to use the gas tool that would cut them down, the chemical was my only choice. I did not use it carelessly, I was deliberate and conscious of every spot I would spray.  And as I sprayed I saw a moth struggling and knew immediately I had not been as conscious as I thought.


The butterfly lives hundreds of miles away from where I was spraying, but it brought to mind the Theory of Chaos.  Everything is connected.  If a butterfly flaps its wings in Borneo it is part of the tornado that slashes its way through Kansas.  We are connected with all of life.  We know that somehow, but yet we don't comprehend it fully.  Everything I do, or don't do, is connected to something else, someone or something.  If I could truly embed that in my soul, I think my life would be very different. 


 "In Lak' ech" - Mayan for "you are my other me".  A pondering that is, in part, responsible for these ramblings and ponderings.  A tiny, but beautiful moth, I did not know existed, in its struggle and death, has become both the victim of my actions and my teacher.  I can replace the patio cement.  Nature will give birth to another moth.  But life is absent that one moth because I did not see.  "In Lak' ech" - Life is my other me.