Showing posts with label calling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label calling. Show all posts

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Presence Being


Good morning little one
Deer this morning. They were in the lower yard eating what seed the birds and squirrels had not eaten. Four doe. Beneath the New Moon. I was looking upward and thinking how bright the stars seemed upon the New Moon’s sky. Felt a movement and then saw movement in the drive way and then on the other side of the fence walking up the outside of the yard, up the street back to the mountain. A straggler followed and then turned and stood still beneath the street light on the opposite corner and looked towards my direction. I do not know where she was looking but to see her stand beneath the light took my breath away. An artificial moon showed her winter gray coat.  Giggle, I sometimes forget how big deer are. 

Oh little one, they belong in the mountain area not where cars fly upon the streets not expecting deer. And yet, I giggle, why should we not expect them? This was their home before homes for human forms were built. Before cities were carved into the mountains, the mesas, this was their home. Yes the drought has called them from where they have gone to escape the cars, the cement and human activities, they have left the small areas where they can still live and returned in search of food to where they used to roam. The bears will soon be here as well.

Sometimes I think we are like the deer. Life, definitions, roles, responsibilities, desires of the hearts moved further and further away from nature’s own, until we become remote to ourselves, where our tribe used to roam beneath all the moon’s faces and starlight. Every now and then we forage outside the fences of safety to see if perhaps the geography our heart remembers has returned, is there. Our feet upon the cement instead of the earth. And yet, and yet, as I watched the doe beneath the moon we created, her body still, her head gazing this way, I wondered…what did she see? And I knew, beneath the new moon she saw what she saw…… her Tribe roaming freely, grazing, dancing beneath the New Moon and stars that celebrated the New Moon in their brightness, offering back to her the light she constantly gives to them. She stood and saw past what I was seeing in fear…cars, dogs, homes and cement. She saw what was, what is, and what will forever be….nature’s sweet call to be as one is, as one was, as one will always be…free and unconfined. She and the others had heard the Tribe’s call just like the blades of grass growing up through cement cracks, tree roots lifting sidewalks or holding firm in the side of a mountain. The heart of the Tribe, of Life, not to be denied. The New Moon sang and they left their space of fear to stand and see. To leave their presence Now with, upon, and One with the All. 

I bowed with open hands to my heart, a tear melting upon my face, like the snow, giving drink to my smile. As I stood to turn back into the house, one last gaze back and I saw her turn, heard her footsteps upon the cement and upon my heart as she slowly walked back…to the mountain, beneath the New Moon and luminous stars. And I whispered, when the sun kisses the New Moon goodnight, may I be graced to see the Tribe as did she. To know wherever I walk, I do so upon sacred ground meant to be experienced. May I answer the Call of Being she stood and saw.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Knowing


You know when you sit with someone and hand them a gift, and you watch so softly but intently as your friend opens the gift and his or her eyes equally soft and intent wondering what they hold in their hands. The knower and the knowing unopened. Those  flashing moments just before the gift is opened, exploding like a sprout emerging from the soil.  The sprout cresting the earth to see the sun for the first time knowing, always knowing even in its shell, that the sun surely exists...and then to greet its knowing.
An odd night last night, giggle. When I took my little dog outside I could feel the wind. The sky was filled with dark night clouds. Checked the weather and saw thunderstorms coming. As I was saying good night to my hobbit house, the lights turned off, I heard a banging and the garage door, pushed by the wind trying to move the rock keeping it in place. I went outside to see if I could secure the garage door better and caught the force of the wind in my face, but was not so much the wind I felt as the dust. As I lay in bed, even my little dog seemed vigilant, unsure, and would not settle down. Usually with winds like that you hear the wind. Not last night. Did not hear the wind. You only heard the thud and banging of who knows what ... I will have to wait until the sun rises this morning to see.
I lay there listening and was carried back to my first memory of the Gulf's waves at night on a cloudy night without the moon. Sitting in darkness you hear the roar of the waves, the splash, the swooosh of the water lapping up on the shore, pulling back and crashing softly into the new rivers flowing in. You could not see the waves. You could not see the sand. You only saw darkness. And in the darkness you heard the waves. That sound is woven deep into my soul and even my body, it is tangible, palpable. I've listened to wave sounds thinking they would bring that same feeling, but for some reason they do not. Oh yes, comforting and make me smile, but it is not the same. It is not just the hearing, it is the power, the energy, the motion of waves in the air crashing upon you that creates the tapestry woven. Like the wind last night that could not be heard save for the motion of waves in the air crashing upon objects outside.
And so I ponder...is that the same experience of the seed? The knowing. Is there sound when the earth is moved with roots digging down and when the sprout pushes through? Is there sound we cannot hear...unless we listen to the breath of the earth carrying the whispers "Come and greet your knowing."



Saturday, October 20, 2012

A Life




Emotions, the body and other's choices are but teachers we reflect upon, learn from and then move on.  Death, either of the body, intent or the spirit is not an option for everything transitions from one state to another.  Quitting, ceasing, or putting on hold are like death in that they are not options either.  Essence will transition - the choice is Now...or when.

To stare down eye to eye the charnled ground, affirms the power of choice.  The Essence of Now - to BE more than just Alive ...... To BE A Life.


Monday, July 30, 2012

Between 'Now' and 'All Else'

Sacredness will find the heart.

When I am ill, I can let the illness run its course or go to the doctor and not experience a longer illness. When a friend or loved one needs help I can risk my vulnerability and time, giving them my hand, or knowing they will figure it out and be ok, stand aside. I can intend on perfect health, serving others, time with loved ones, traveling, painting, writing or singing, or one day to be worthy of love and accept myself...when all else is done.

Sacredness will find the heart. It may come when we discover we have no more time, or experience a moment when time itself is threatened, but sacredness will find the heart. Between "now" and "all else" ......

"Thy infinite gifts come to me only on these
very small hands of mine. Ages pass, and still
thou pourest, and still there is room to fill." 

-Rabindranath Tagore,

Monday, July 2, 2012

Humble offering


I know my thoughts are ever so odd, the things that I see and the whispered scriches.  Loose threads and ramblings.

And so, I simply leave this image here, a humble pause for you to hear your own whispered scrich and what you need to see.
Namaste.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Beyond the Garden


I cherish my plants. The bamboo and little cypress and bonsai trees and the plants outside that greet me each morning.  As I tended the bamboo I heard the whisper ‘Beyond the garden.’  I left the house shortly afterwards and sat on a rock sitting 10,000 feet above the earth pondering the whisper.

Gardens are to be cherished.  But at some point, for me, they become a metaphor of life.  I carve out a little piece of my full spirit, make a garden, and call it me.  The gardens we create let us feel needed, we tend them, they can even make us feel important, even let us feel in control and the tiny piece can even bring joy.  But I am not called to live in a carved out garden, a sliver of myself.  Called to go beyond the garden and fully awaken my expansive soul. Perhaps that is why nature calls so longingly and strong.

‘Look and see! Cherish your gardens, your niches in life, but they are only reminders of how much awaits, how big your spirit is and your heart. Cherish and tend your gardens, honor, compassion, and gentleness.  But they are not you as you were meant to be.  Do not be satisfied with one plant one piece of yourself you call your own when all of this, all of you is waiting for you to answer the call. Beyond the garden my child. My little one, beyond the garden the bounty of your full self awaits. Step out, step out and embrace the calling in your heart. Beyond the garden. Beyond the garden my child, You await.’  

Standing on top of the rock I realized if anything in the world breathed the quintessence of the will to live it is nature.  Stretching my arms out, face to the wind,  I shouted “Alive. Live. A Life. Life. Life lived.”   

Walking the path back to the car, still breathing the wind, the ever present doubt whispered, ‘Dark days will still overwhelm you, you know.’  Stopping I placed my hand on a tree and whispered back, ‘Perhaps.  But I have stepped beyond the garden and hung onto the wind.’