Doubting Not

Oh, doubt not her fullness. Nor your own.

Throne of Now

I confess, it did beckon me to come and sit. To do so would have disturbed the image. I took my seat and sat both where I was and upon its warm seat gathered in the sunlight. Much like all experiences, sorrowful or glad, we don't have to dig them out, nor do we have to pass by unaware. Simply to be present, this moment, now. Ahhhhh no king or queen has known a greater throne.

Open Doors

Some on this day will be alone midst a gathering of family and friends. Others will be immersed in love and joy. Others like me will be immersed with none but ourselves and love filled hearts.  A day celebrated in the U.S. for giving thanks. Hopefully, one day soon needing no reminder. May we learn to awaken each morning, open the doors and say “Thank you Life! Thank you Love! The door is always open. Come in my Friend and let us give thanks.”

To all so kind to pause here, blessings and thanks given for you. Off to nature where a corn meal blessing among the mountains, snow, and migrating geese will be offered. Be well my friends. And may you know the joy of thanks.

Smallness Transformed

I sat on my cushion releasing my heart's prayers. For a six year old boy undergoing brain surgery. A mother whose adult child simply did not wake up and no reason is known. For others facing grief, sadness, uncertainty, and lacking the basic water, food and shelter of life. I am but one and sometimes feel so old, frail, and inadequate. My simple little prayers but they are so so earnest and felt. Then to open my eyes and see such a gift. The sun and morning had gathered my little simple prayers and were streaming them into the universe. Never doubt. Never stop praying. Life truly hears and responds.

Searching for Truth

So many wisdom teachings, so many paths. I sat and asked what do I know to be true? All I heard was my heart. I decided that was enough. That was my answer.

Audacious Reverie

I am the wounded animal sound of the howling winds. I am the silence of sheltered walls. I am the window's view shrouded in a white out. I am the presence of the sun's crystal illumination. I am the candle's thin dance of smoke. I am the wax, wick, and flame melted as one. I am the prayer of love, joy, and freedom for all. This day for all life the stillness of a feather surrounded by storms.

Uncovered Song

Yesterday, she was bowed beneath the snow. This morning unseen beneath the drifts of snow wind. Have you ever heard the difference in wind as it blows across the snow covered earth? The song is so different. I stood knee high in the drift and thought I remembered where she was. Gently the snow removed and there she was. I giggled to find her again. Together we greeted the first blue sky in days and sang with the snow wind. Her image and strength will return the favor when life's drifts cover me....and we will sing again and again.

Gifted Softness

No greater tip could be left for one who carried out the banquet for nature's small ones to eat. A soft reminder the feather is on the ground but the winged bird is still in flight. A gentle touch from nature to nature, a small blanket offering warmth to the snow and earth. May my touch upon the earth be so simple, be so gentle.

Nested Feast

Sometimes the whispers and lessons so simple and clear.  I, with such a small but growing heart, experience and know such joy clearing snow to feed the birds.... What must the Heart that created mine, in boundless perfection, experience when I dare to take flight and come to feast?

Eyeing Fog's Embrace

And what is it you are struggling to see Little One? Your eyes see only the cloud of fog. Your eyes also don't see the mountain that holds, supports, and lifts the tree above the earth and into the clouds. See with your heart Little One. And giggle to watch the clouds descend to caress the earth. Feel their touch upon your face. Alive in this one moment and the touch of the heavens surrounding you...that is what your heart sees.

Forecast

"COLD WITH WIND." I do not know why a forecast such as that made me giggle and laugh. It continued on to say there would also be snow. I took my seat upon my cushion to greet the morning. The image of nature's friend who greeted me yesterday returned. I whispered to him, with a giggle, 'just so ya know...cold. With Wind.' And with joyful eyes, as I took my first long slow inhaled breath, the whisper came back, 'just so ya know...life. With all. With ease.'

Uneclipsed Tenderness

Sometimes the physical pain wears me down, sending me to my knees. Or should I say my bottom as I move from my knees to sit upon my cushion. Buddha taught that suffering exists. Buddha also taught we can be released from suffering. First comes the acknowledgment and even the honoring. For it is the pain, sometimes more than the joy, that whispers with each exhalation, “Beings and life forms are numberless. I vow to save them all.”  My heart knows such joy, sweet mercy such joy. But never is my touch extended to all more tender, and more protective, more vulnerably naked, than when I offer metta and peace from the joyful heart touched by pain. Denying neither the pain nor the joy. Their contrasting light uneclipsed. “Beings and life forms are numberless. I vow to save them all.” Namaste my friends. Tender tender fingers have touched your face.

Hart of Heart Fullness Reflected

Oh can you see it? How my heart sighed so to see. She turned her head and the reflecting shadow covers her. That this would be my image today. Wherever I focus I cast a shadow. A shadow upon others sometimes but always a shadow casts upon me. Oh that my eyes and others would only see the reflected heart. The imaged hart of heart full mindfulness.

Fullness Beyond the Lens

And what picture would or could I dare to use?

This day. 

This minute. 

This second. 

This moment. 

This breath. 

Tis all there is. 

And yet it is filled with the vast infinity of life.

Uncollected Abundance Held

To see them side by side and giggle at my squeal and startled breath within. My hands instinctively moved down to gather the precious gifts. Instead, my fingers simply stroked. The whispered smile that the path is about shedding not collecting. To think how quiet and peaceful the world might be if the noise of collecting fell as silent as the feathers. In absolute abundance I walked away.

Wake of Love

Like a glass mirror'd lake and ducks, to think my movement upon this earth leaves a similar wake. May my movements, like these, leave all in breathless beauty and stillness.

Pauperless AbunDANCE

 Paying a bill and simultaneously sending a bit of money to a friend, a sigh of wishing I could do more. Suddenly the sun exploded over the mountains and trees, literally blinding my eyes with light. Turning to reach for my "sun" hat, the sun danced with my hanging prism and created a rainbow upon feathers I've found. I burst into laughter and awe filled abuDANCE. To those I know, calling them by name, to those like you who kindly read these words, I began to offer such blessings and gifts. The joy of the sun burst, laughing prism'd feathers, the peace of rainbow streamers, the sound of birds hovering to feed, the elegance of a single cloud dancing, a diva no doubt, the unburdened trees dancing, the anticipation of a little dog sitting by the door knowing its time to walk. My heart exploded, I could not name the names nor the gifts fast enough. To you, and you, and you and all. I felt the wealth of opening my burlap sack and gold coins spilled all over the table, clinking and spinning on the floor.  You, my friends, and all, open wide your arms, you may need help, a buffet of gifts are lavished upon you! Perhaps that is the essence of mindfulness.... you learn to see, so you can give away. No one a pauper....receive...receive.

Penned Path

I suppose it is an inherent desire in all of us to be writers. We all long to re-write in some way our script of growing up. Today, on the anniversary of my father's passing, my mother having left this life earlier, I realize I have, at last, laid down the pen. Life's sun and weathering have gifted the sight of reflection. No need even to write "The End." Life continues, as do I, though no longer a role of daughter. There are some sunrises I wish the mountains would move and let me see. Some days the clouds are just to playful for my camera to see. And there are days when I am left breathless in awe of the wonder of life. The pen, laid down, opens both heart and eyes. I miss you Mama. I miss you Daddy. I bow in gratitude for the path that was penned.

Final Sacrifice

On this day of remembrance, in the U.S. and Canada, for those who have served in war, I bow in gratitude for all who have and currently sacrifice so much. And then to bow again in compassion and faith, that one day soon, we will all be veterans celebrating. Warriors of Love and heart. Warriors whose only required sacrifice was to lay down the swords.

Circle Complete

Sunrise we look to the east. Sunset we look to the west. Sometimes I too find myself looking for the splash and flash throughout the day. Instead, to see the whole circle touched. A dawn’s gaze to the south that does not disappoint. And to know neither will the views of myself, others, and the day’s events. I just have to turn my gaze and see the circle, complete.

Simply Rise Simply Try

To practice acceptance of all circumstances, feelings, people, and events with compassion and without judgment, not forgetting it applies to the self. My heart sighed to read such words. And then the gentle whisper, “Are they but a bumper sticker placed on your car? Or have you experienced them as both the car and fuel that carry you upon the path? Are the words but your hiking boots worn in the house?” Oh I may get lost in my car. I may get stuck in traffic jams. I have to wash, fuel, and maintain the car. I have to clean off the winter snow and ice so I can see. And I can put on my boots and perfectly lace each eyelet, tie the perfect knot and sit on the couch. The word is to practice, to experience, and to try. No mention of perfection or attainment. To slip inside the car or my boots and travel the path. Nike says “Just Do It.” The path, knowing I am human, says, “Get up and try.” The moon and sun never check the weather to see if conditions are favorable. They simply rise.

Waving Back

She skipped across the street to the corner where the school bus would stop. I see her every morning. Today, she turned back to the truck where her Dad was watching. She waved so vigorously her whole body swayed. Something was different. Then I saw she had a floppy stuffed animal in her hand and was waving it back and forth towards her Dad. Her smile was so big even my failing eyes could see. As the school bus approached, one last fierce wave and then she gently placed her floppy friend in her backpack, which looked way too heavy for her body. She was off to school where she would have to sit still, memorize, and be taught all the things society has decided are important. If by grace a moment to color, it would have to be done within the lines. But inside her backpack, a soft floppy but now still little reminder that she is still a child. A child of wonder, magic, laughter, joy, and such a huge smile of life and love. She’s growing up but she has a soft reminder of what counts. As the school bus drove away my arm and hand fell down into my lap. As did my own floppy stuffed animal that had been waving back.

Leap Day

So many wise ones have written about life as taking a leap of faith, going for it, and trusting. The hero’s and heroine’s journey is one of facing the obstacles, the mazes, and dragons. We leap alone, not clinging to others or things, nor do we push or force others to join our leap. It is a journey we make alone, leaping into the unknown…much like the way we entered this world. And if that inaugural journey, that first leap is what we now celebrate as our Birthday, then every leap we make is but another! I’m not getting older….I’m being born over and over every moment, breath, and emotion!  And so to all, may I offer a heartfelt giggle and wish you – Happy Leap Day!

Derailed and Uplifted

               I took my place in line and placed my items on the counter. Another came and stood behind me. The strength of her sigh was louder than its sound. I know not why but immediately thought I had done something wrong. I was the source of her sigh and felt frustration. Less than a minute but the sequence of thoughts and feelings cascaded over a lifetime of self-judgment. And then the whisper of “Little One…Oh Little One.” I giggled and derailed the oncoming train wreck of thoughts. Another giggle, if her presence and energy could so change me, then perhaps my own could change hers. I turned with a smile and gentle hello, my eyes reaching into hers. It matters not what happened next. The real story is not the ending. Except to say, I walked outside on a quilted cloud covered, dark gray, sunless day…and thought perhaps I needed my sunglasses.

“When all your desires are distilled, you will cast just two votes: to love more, and be happy.” — Hafiz

AT the Being of BE

I do love words and the powerful changes a subtle shift can make. So many of our sayings, prayers and meditations use the words “like,” “know” or “at.” May you be like the sun giving never asking for return. May you know the state of happiness. May you be at peace.  But the words feel like a place or emotion, here or there but never quite me. In the midst of turmoil I can be “at” peace. But how much more powerful would it be, if instead, in the midst of turmoil I “was” peace? To change the “likes” and “at’s” to being or be. And so today, for myself, all beings, and all life, my meditations are that all may be at peace and at ease. But with a heart smile, I shall add “May all BE peace. May all BE ease. May all BE happiness and joy. May all BE strength. May all fully BE.

Unlimited Quantities

The morning and the day, a blank piece of paper and dancing shadows. The joy, the simple childlike innocent joy of knowing it awaits my mark. But oh, sweet mercy, the giggled anticipation of knowing at the end of the day, I get to re-open and savor each mark made. The marking, the re-seeing, and then the letting go. Not to worry! Not limited to just one sheet.

Cross Hairs and Crossroads

I pondered the week and the image of cross hairs and crossroads floated into my mind. Sometimes to feel you're caught in the cross hairs, the aim directed at you. Other times to see through the cross hairs. We focus with intent and attention, seeing what needs to be seen, setting the goals and targets. Then there are crossroads. To simply walk the path, knowing that everything changes, evolves, and returns.  All we set our sights upon -the joy we would cling to and the stress or hurt we would push away - shall pass. Both shall twist and turn, like crossroads, beckoning us further down the path. 

May your day unfold like crossroads, delighting in the mystery and awe of the turns and twists. May you know the path is certain; your steps are well grounded. No need for cross hairs, giggle, the sights are ever changing… sweet mercy, ain't that grand!

Tags Released

The sweet joy of sitting in meditation before dawn. The stillness of love gifted within and without. All was broken by the scratching of my shirt’s tag against my neck. I started to reach and move the tag but stopped when I noticed how tense my body had become. I was not silent. I had become angry at the tag. In its silent scratching it had deafened my heart and stiffened my body. My mind had raced to fear that this was not a good omen for the day. It was just a tag. It was just a tag. And somehow it had transformed into something more than cloth and threads ever dared to think they would be. I sat with the tag, befriending what it simply was. A laughter meditation, but ever so humbling. A lesson best gently learned from a little tag, than with others, beliefs, and life. And when the unstilled stilled sitting was done, to leave a soft feather of trust and gratitude to this tag…releasing all others not made with cloth.